Love and Domestic Abuse Survivors in our Communities!
I was going to start this article by sharing startling statistics about domestic violence in the black community, but I decided against it because one case alone is far too many. Learning the one you love is a survivor of domestic violence is intense. It takes you through a range of emotions that starts with pure anger and ends in joy that she survived. It makes you question how someone could want to hurt another human being, especially if you claim to care them and they are expressing love towards you.
I can remember clearly in two different relationships when I learned that she is a survivor of domestic violence. The experience was shared right after what we both expressed was an incredible moment between us. It started with her saying “Ronnie, can I share something with you?” The story that followed in both instances were painful to hear. To look at the tears running down her face while recalling the stories mentally took me places that makes me wish I had superpowers to erase not only the memory but the ability for any man or woman to ever think of such a thing.
And while it’s easy for someone that has never suffered the verbal and physical abuse of another person they care for by saying something along the lines of “Why not just leave?” I can promise you, it’s much deeper than that. We must honor and support their courage to share. Men are also the victims of domestic violence. Many women are surprised to learn this at some point in their relationship. To hear the stories the man they share a life with is just as painful. While I was grateful to learn more of the journey of this beautiful, giving woman with me, I could not help but wonder how many more men and woman have experienced this and what could I do to increase the awareness of something that needs to be eradicated for good. There are men and women all around us that are suffering at the hands of people they care for and are living in quiet desperation. Let’s lift up the voices of the survivors and become familiar with the resources available and share them in the event those that are in need have access.
Continue to love on those that have the courage to share their journey and see to it you provide an environment and energy of encouragement and love as it is not an easy path for some men and women to share.
Ronnie Walker, KUOMagazine’s Love & Relationship Journalist
Master Coach of Exceptional Relationships, Sex and Relationship Transformation.